Aug 4, 2006

Why Not Divorce? Note to a Friend....

Why should you remain faithful to your marriage vows? You should be able to determine whether the following arguments make sense:

  • A divorced husband is let loose to prey on other women; better to keep your family problems mostly at home and not share them with the rest of the world
  • Divorced husbands/wives commit many sins they would not otherwise commit (e.g., bad example, hatred, bitterness, blame, deceit, adulteries) all of which help to form children in the wrong way
  • Children’s psychological lives are harmed, as virtually all studies of children with divorced parents have shown—poor academic achievement, drug-taking, inability to establish permanent relationships, etc. One friend was a senior in high school when his parents announced his divorce, and he has said the year following the divorce was the worst of his life and that he has never recovered from this heartache. He points out pictures of himself where he aged dramatically in less than two years because of the effect of his parents' divorce
  • Divorce results in feelings of inadequacy, failure, and guilt for both parties, followed by development of a bad conscience that justifies past and future sins which is destructive to both personality and soul
  • A church-going parent who divorces his/her spouse causes children to reject religion, rather than embrace it
  • A Christian who divorces says “I will no longer carry my cross” when a true Christian asks Christ to help carry the cross

In fidelity, your children receive the best possible example of Christian life, a true gift for the next generations of your family. Say very simply: 'My God, I am sure You are going to forgive this wretched husband, and I have so much confidence in Your mercy that I shall go on being sure even though he does not show any sign at all of being sorry.”


Anonymous said...

Right, so when my husband beats me I should stay and take it, right?! And when he comes home with a venereal disease I should just put up and shut up. No way.

Dust I Am said...

My post is part of a letter sent to a friend. She wasn't beaten and doesn't seem to be afraid of catching VD. Her oldest boy, very intelligent, has developed serious problems, which appear to be caused by the very messy divorce proceedings. Her youngest son has retreated his mother to go to his father's house most of the time. My friend now lives in a low-rent apartment, rather than her former nice house, so that she can pay her attorney fees. Perhaps I need to give other examples of where divorce was tried and failed.