Sep 6, 2006

Matches -- No. 4

I believe in falling in love after deciding on the one you want to marry. A good friend and I looked at many men. I think she dated over a hundred and I dated over thirty. We typically kept our dating to no more than two or three times per guy. We avoided steady dating because we were taught in Catholic school that steady dating was only for those intending to be married. Dating a guy only a couple of times meant you had an enjoyable experience in getting to know different men, but they were far less likely to try to take liberties.

I knew my husband for almost three years before we dated. After a year or so of knowing him in a Catholic organization, I told my sister that I had met a Catholic gentleman who would make an extra fine husband and great father. She asked if I was dating him or loved him and I said no, but he would be very easy to learn to love. Very true!

The same thing happened with my friend whose future husband wanted to marry her after they met in a work environment. She says she accepted his proposal before she fell in love with him because she knew him to be an outstanding Catholic man who would be easy to love. My friend married her husband with a love that was true and certain. What a wonderful advantage it was to know and choose someone for a spouse without the embellishments that typically cover the personality during dating.

Good people are easy to love, but a clear picture of a person's personality and behavior is only possible when you are not dating. That is why the peasant parents in The Third Match recommended their sons marry girls they knew.

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